On the occasion of my recent participation in the Thessaloniki Film Festival, where I was already awarded the "Golden Pigalle" for my sensational work "The bird is called Iota and Moutso Panagiota" (or else "The Child Who Didn't Know How To Cry») an allegory on the importance of the cactus as an anti-phallic symbol, therefore, I say, due to my presence there, I had the opportunity to meet important executives of the world film industry. People with visions, with connections and above all, big wallets. I didn't hesitate. I considered it my duty to try my luck, for the good, not - only - mine, but also to defend the honor and reputation of the great cinephile community of Averof, SEKFO and Perichoron. So I approached, you name it, St____ Spill_____ the most famous Hollywood producer and said, "Dude, do you want to produce my next movie?" He looked at me warily. I continued without hesitation: "It's called "Socks». With something else, I haven't found it yet, maybe "Mandolins", we'll see, I don't know, but the issue is different. I want a good, rich production. Are you baking?'
He continued to look at me warily. I took that as a good sign. "I am working on the script. Still. If you want my opinion, it doesn't really matter. The film will come out on its own if I have the production I want." He was looking at me. "Fine" I tell him, "don't answer me now, but I'll take care of this" and I slip into his tuxedo pocket an A4 copy, a rough draft of my requirements. He kept looking warily, one at me, one at his pocket, and then I knew I shouldn't push it any further.
"See it and tell me. We are in no rush. Oh, after the holidays.”
He hasn't answered me yet, maybe he lost my phone number, (6937 etc. etc.) so I'm listing it here, in public judgment in case any Christian is interested and finances my new masterpiece.
Below are my suggestions for the production of the film tentatively titled Socks (and something else I haven't found yet). God bless you.
Well. We need:
- A little one with a wool fringe, like a German, but to look like a popular country boy from the south.
- Katehaki Street, Kifisias Avenue and the National Highway (from the height of Hamosterna to the vegetable market in Rentis) closed for an hour. Ideally at noon. For the foam scene.
- A wax effigy of Nana Mouschouri (in a flirtatious pose)
- Two helicopters in black (with tinted windows)
- A flamethrower
- Three cases of vermicelli
- Soap bubbles
- A viper (in a transparent basket)
- A roast beef sandwich (on a joint)
- Emma Stone (as Lucky)
- Laki Gavalas (in the role of Laki's twin brother)
- Despina Vandi (as Emma)
- A couple of truckloads of junk
- A trampoline (olive colored)
- And of course socks!
Lots of socks!
With shoes.
“Dedicated to X.”
*Frontpage picture: pinterest
