Betrayal it is the sudden, total, traumatic loss of reciprocity. The one we usually take for granted in close relationships. The whole is fragmented, one becomes two, the continuous is polarized, cooperation becomes opposition. The space-time continuum is disrupted. Coexistence in a common mental world, where although at a distance, one could experience oneself "inside" the other, are prerequisites of trust. Suddenly we are separated, wandering in different dimensions that cannot – perhaps never again – connect or communicate with each other. A bond is broken and can never be mended again. The feeling of utter betrayal.
Collapse of psychic space follows loss of trust. From the open "system" of permeable boundaries of reciprocity, co-transformation and sharing of inner fantasy and reality, to loss. In the collapse of mental space and its replacement by a closed, rigid, binary almost digital space. In time and place limited to a single dimension.
We connect with others in intimate relationships based on the unacknowledged certainty that we are connected. That they will take care of us or we will take care of each other. An unconscious and sometimes conscious "contract". This is what deception and betrayal condemns and catalyzes. How early, how often, and how deeply betrayals occur, and whether they temporarily interrupt or completely reverse the ongoing continuum of growth, is a critical part of our lives.
The ability to lie is rather a developmental achievement for the human mind. It follows the achievement of a level of cognitive and emotional development. Intrapsychic qualities are required to articulate the lie. Children lie imitating adults. And perhaps adults lie by replicating the childlike sense of omnipotence achieved when others accept the lies. Perhaps even those who believe lies have an unconscious need to share this omnipotence.
Children lie from a young age. Often and for all sorts of reasons. To avoid punishment, to make friends, to gain a sense of control. The natural inclination to cheat is deeply rooted in human behavior. As we examine the larger cultural landscape, we find that society, despite its professed disdain for liars, often exerts a fascination through the art of deception. This paradoxical relationship with dishonesty highlights the complex nature of human psychology and the enduring role that lying plays in our lives. These games of lies and manipulation serve as evidence of the importance of deception on a personal and societal level.
Humans display a remarkable capacity for self-deception. Often blurring the line between reality and illusion. This tendency to self-delusion allows us to face unpleasant truths. Through the construction of alternative narratives in the labyrinths of our inner thoughts. As a complex dance - between the conscious and the unconscious - it highlights an interesting nature of human psychology.
Deception doesn't just reside in the inner world of the individual—it extends to interpersonal interactions as well. In the realm of deception, individuals consciously attempt to manipulate the perceptions of others. This manipulation often involves denying reality and creating an intricate web of pretense. Interestingly, these deceptive constructions are born from a mixture of primary and secondary processes, revealing the depth of the human ability to create elaborate illusions.
Understanding the intricacies of human deception means exploring the line between truth and falsehood. Where individuals tread carefully, sometimes straying from the truth. Whether it is to protect their ego, to shield themselves from unpleasant realities, or to project a more favorable image to the world, the human mind exists between authenticity and artifice. At the intersection of truth and illusion, in a delicate and sensitive balance. We harbor within us a myriad of complex, existential paradoxes. Our personal narratives are simple fiction, perhaps unrevealed truth, perhaps an oscillation between conscious and unconscious, highlighting and embodying the essence of the psychoanalytic enigma.
*Frontpage picture: D Tac – Betrayal