Jordan “Theory” Arsenale was one of the best guys I ever met. The guy was certainly a bit stubborn. But aren't all great inventors?
I had succeeded him in the Soul Buffet, we drank from a beer and said let's go for a bath. So we found ourselves traveling together, one July afternoon, for a dip down at our favorite beach, next to the port of Kavo-Tsagezi, half an hour's drive from the city. Joe missed our freeway exit because he was trying to text a message on the phone. It was, I remember well, a question to his supervisor at the university. He was asking him if the title of his doctoral thesis could be written in Aramaic and the text in Flemish. The professor did not answer him. What do you mean, we missed the exit and started heading north. Our little beach was already south.
-"Joe, we have to go back buddy", I say to him. "We missed the exit." But he refused.
-“Kerouac”, he says to me, I don't know why, but he always called me that, Kerouac, “It's time to prove one of my greatest theorems. That if you go against the direction you want to go, and I mean completely against, you will reach your destination. Same as if you were going there following the right direction.
-“Joe, I don't understand you? Where are you going?”
By and large, he went all the way. He kept going north. North only. That is, until he went around the world. In two years it had reached our little port, only it did so by going through the North Pole, the Pacific, the South Pole, Africa and the Mediterranean. Weird guy. I suspect he kept going north because he didn't want to admit he missed the exit. So stubborn.
I stayed anyway, he dropped me off at the next gas station and I went back with the Suburban. When I met him again, two years later, the first thing he said to me was:
-“Friend Kerouac, with this experiment, I confirmed my theorem. As above so below. All is One. The edges are joined. If you want to go North, you can also go from the South. If you go completely opposite to where you want to go, it's like going where you want to go. You just have to have faith. And a little extra time"
-“Joe, for God's sake mate, it was a half hour drive. And another ten minutes if we made a U-turn at the next exit! Did you have to make a taxi like that?”
-“Kerouac, my boy, yes. Ought. And I also accomplished something else. I debunked the theory of those cranky guys who say the earth is flat. Is not."
-"How was the water?"
-“I didn't take a bath, dammit. I had forgotten my bathing suit.”
Giuseppe Lerdi on the other hand was a different guy. Not headstrong at all. The complete opposite, whatever it is called. He was Italian, Milanese, although he spoke his Italian with a heavy German accent. I once asked him if he had any German roots and he reacted strongly. As if he was offended for some reason.
-"Juse, I don't understand my friend, since you speak your Italian like a German"
-"Kundera" he calls me, I don't know why, but he always called me that, "Kundera", it's just a matter of aesthetics." ... "And perception" he added, looking at me teacherly. "We must, always, marry Art with Technology, my boy." I was nodding my head, understanding and agreeing. My little friend, you say, was a "Retailer of Achievement". Truth. That's what he said. Once we were in DanTe Bar and we had drunk a little more, I wanted to tease him and asked him "Ze, why are you a retailer and not a wholesaler?"
-“Why do I prefer Groucho to Carl, pal. For this"
I raised my glass as a sort of toast to him. I understood what he meant. He raised it too.
-"Into the Universe!"
"To the Universe" I said too and the sparkling wine tickled our already cheerful throats.
-"Sir, can I tell you something else?"
-"Anything"
-"I will do a performance at the Opera. Do you support me?”
-"Of course, friend. I am with you. I am sure you will do something spectacular.”
And yes, it's true that I was terribly impressed, two weeks later, that while Beethoven's 8th was being played, a guy with donuts was walking silently down the square. He was the classic type of donut seller on the beach. She was holding a small shallow pan that had note shaped mini donuts in it. Oh, Giuseppe, you are very strong! You could feel that what he was doing, for some strange reason, connected with the whole energy of the Staircase. I was watching them from above, everyone was excited. He had all of Milan at his feet! The children of the Philharmonic also had a lot of fun. They even dedicated the fourth part to him. "Allegro Vivace for Giuseppe!" shouted the typist with the bassoon happily. From that night I kept as a souvenir a paper napkin, one of the ones that had the sugar-dusted pastry notes wrapped around it. “My Sweetie Eat Big” it read, in an elegant font that only a great designer like him could choose.
Anyway.
Giuseppe was just as nice a guy as Jordan. We all went out together once and they instantly became close friends. They even decided to cooperate. They founded "Jordan & Giuseppe", the coolest "department" in the city. With two exhibition halls, one large and one small, a bookstore with the best editions, a florist, a cafe, a restaurant with homemade recipes, in a glass area, like a greenhouse - full of plants and lanterns and two small boutiques of the best taste, one with objects and the other with clothes. It even has a small record store-barber shop. I usually plant in the fer-forze of the garden. I gifted them the fountain there.
A little unkempt plaster Einstein, tongue out, peeing water.
*Cover photo: 1933, # george w gardner