In a few days it is my birthday and I will turn 25The year of my age.
From a young age I knew what I wanted (most of the time) and I have been planning my birthday party and all the details like the cake, the guests, the venue, even since elementary school. I was excited and nervous at the same time that everything would go perfectly. Something that never happened. One reason might be that at the end of June friends would go on vacation with their family, or later on to university, so there was always someone missing... It might be my fault that I wanted that day that I had organized everything to go as I had in my mind. The only thing that is certain is that after so many years the anxiety has not left a moment, not only for the preparation of the birthday, but it follows me in my every moment.
This year I knew what I wanted to do, a big party for the ¼ century I spent on this planet, with many friends, new and old, colleagues, partners, to get together to celebrate growing up. It's funny that every year that passes we grow, it's a shame that we can't freeze time and relive the good, the bad and all the moments of our life that we might remember, forget or stick in our minds .
As I grow older I sadly realize that those around me are not so interested in their birthdays, they don't celebrate, they don't rejoice, they don't live... they just spend the day they were born like all the others. And this is not because they don't have friends, family, partners or the financial ability to do it, but quite simply they don't want to.
So I decided to divide people into those who want to celebrate their birthdays, have fun, party, are happy to grow up and those who don't think it's important, prefer to work, hate surprises and don't care about this day.
Certainly these two categories also include subcategories such as people who make it known everywhere that it is their birthday, people who demand to receive specific gifts, people who cry every year on their birthday because something goes wrong and not out of emotion, the ungrateful who do not they are happy with nothing, but that I think is more a part of each person's personality and not so much their general view of birthdays.
Speaking of people who don't like to celebrate their birthdays, I tried to think of a few reasons why this might be the case.
Of course, birthdays for many are not a party with friends, but a time of reflection, thinking about the goals and dreams they had a year ago. How many of these were put into practice, how much I progressed in my life, in my work, in my relationship and as a person. Birthdays are often an occasion to come to terms with your past, present and future, which can cause negative feelings and even symptoms of depression, depending on your life satisfaction.
And now that I think about it I think we all catch ourselves having some depressing thoughts on our birthday. You may put yourself in the shoes of others and say why they didn't surprise me while I did, try hard for others to have a good time on their own birthday thinking that they will do the same for you.
Even on that day, the ghosts of the past "wake up" and certainly not everyone has good memories on their birthday. An event may have marked you.
It's also possible that you've always loved your birthday, but recently you've come to hate it. This may be because you are going through a difficult time – perhaps you are ill, or you have lost someone you care about or your job.
I'm still young to think about it but the fear of aging doesn't exist only when 40-50 knocks on your door, when you see the wrinkles on your face, especially women, they want to do something to change that, creams, plastics, none she's glad she's growing up, whatever her face shows.
Another reason why you might not enjoy your birthday is simply that you don't like being the center of attention. "If you're more shy and introverted, you might prefer not to have many eyes on you.
If you have social anxiety, parties can feel like an exhausting show or a chore. After all, not everyone likes to mix up groups of friends. You may feel comfortable expressing only certain aspects of your personality with some people and not with others. Or maybe you think that your different groups of friends might not click right away and that you'll have to moderate their interactions all afternoon.
All these constitute for some reason not to wish to celebrate.
In any case, social conventions aside, there is no right or wrong way to celebrate your own birthday. It's just a day and you can make it feel as special or mundane as you want – and define what special means to you. We must live every day as a celebration and not the celebration as every day...