Kindness is a trait in a person's behavior that may or may not be appreciated. Sometimes politeness is misinterpreted as coldness, as weakness, as the absence of "shit". And, although politeness manifests itself in many ways, it is most evident in language, or the lack of it.
How many times has someone spoken to you rudely on the street? How many times have you gone to the booth in the morning, said good morning, and the good morning pierced the plain, almost transparent look, and left all complaining out the back door? How many times has someone in the supermarket taken you with the so-and-so line at the cash register or urgently asked you to go faster?
"Go ahead girl!"
And so I move on. Telling a childless couple, "Hey, when are you going to have a baby?" it's rude, just like touching a pregnant woman's belly without her permission. In general, entering the personal zone of another without the corresponding intimacy is understood as rudeness. Not offering your turn to the elderly, pregnant women or parents with strollers is rude. Parking on the ramp is rude. Not saying "thank you" is rude. It's raining and insisting on staying under the shed while holding an umbrella when you see someone else struggling to protect themselves from the rain is also rude.
I remember years ago I was in London with my two children, my then eight month old son and my two and a half year old daughter. And as we walk along Notting Hill's colorful Portobello Road and enjoy our nice, summery walk it starts to rain. And we're not talking about summer rain, we're talking about local English rain with PDO. He didn't just throw chairs, he threw cats and dogs[1] which they also say abroad. I have a raincoat for the stroller, I have a raincoat for the toddler, but NO umbrella for me. And you know, there are NO sheds in London. I'm on a street with ONLY houses and I'm soaked to the bone, my feet are squishing in my sandals, mascara is dripping and I'm thinking I have another ten minutes of walking in the rain until we get home. So I find a rudimentary roof overhanging a parking lot and go and shove my toddler and daughter in there for a while to think about what I can do. Suddenly a van stops in front of me and a young man gets out - deus ex machina literally - and approaches us, holding a huge umbrella.
"This is for you" he says handing me the umbrella. Muttering a surprised thank you, I ask him how I will return the umbrella. And he answers me, smiling “oh, no, I don't want it back. It's yours darling” and returns to his car shouting “have a good one”, leaving me, rushing from the land of Xenios Zeus, to wonder if something like this could happen in Greece.
Shall I answer you or do you know the answer?
I think you will agree that it is a bit difficult. Because there may not be an exact translation of the Greek word "filotimo" in other languages, but that does not mean that ALL of us in Greece have it. Also, politeness can be influenced by social variables and this explains to a certain extent the incident I just described to you and the low probability of something like this happening in Greece. (many times I have been remarked on the street: "where are you taking the babies in the cold, my girl?" I went to the pediatrician, but there was no reason to report to every know-it-all/critic of everything).
But to take it back to where my original thought was, the politeness theory[2] in our language, it is governed by some basic rules, which aim to "save" our "face" and also the "face" of our interlocutors when we communicate linguistically. Many of these rules are common sense (which isn't very common these days) and really don't require much effort. And it is really paradoxical that while we live in a period of social and political correctness, where we (want to) use inclusive language, where we are careful what we say so as not to be misunderstood, we have become a little less polite in our little stories (in the center and the districts , which the Katsimichaeans also say) in our short, daily linguistic interactions with the people around us. You will tell me that in Greece we are, we are warm people, open heart, we speak openly. I accept that. Up to a point though.
It is at this point that I must share another incident that I witnessed. So some time ago I was at a public service and I was waiting in line. I was next and the gentleman in front of me was trying to find an edge with the service employee. So he asks him - politely - to help him with something related to his taxis. And the employee answers him.
"Listen to me. Tomorrow is Saturday. You'll put on a whiskey, sit on the computer and look for it, it's not hard."
Over and out.
[1] There is a lot of (para)philology surrounding this expression and I find it hard not to share some of it. The most common origin of "it's raining cats and dogs" has to do with the many stray animals in 16th century Englandου century, and the bad condition of the roads. So when it rained, the streets flooded and the poor animals drowned, as the drains on the streets didn't do much work, so when the rain stopped and people came out of their houses, they saw a street full of dead animals. Another interpretation (unlikely in my opinion, but very imaginative) is that it is a corruption of the Greek phrase "by glory" which will mean contrary to what one might think, i.e. incredible. Another explanation (there are others but we're getting off topic) is that back then the roofs of the houses were such that when it rained, the animals that might have been on the roofs fell into the house.
[2] https://www.studysmarter.co.uk/explanations/english/pragmatics/politeness-theory/
*Frontpage picture: iffuckingwishh